Eleventh Blog Post...the final one! 😭

Dear Blog!!

Today I want to share how my parents raised me. I know I’ve already talked a lot about my family’s divorces and the changes we’ve gone through, but I haven’t explained how those experiences shaped the person I am today.

If I had to describe myself, I’d say I’m kind, considerate, emotional, and independent. These qualities didn’t just develop on their own—they came from my family, especially my mom, and from my spiritual journey. As I was growing up, my mom took me to many churches: Baptist, Christian, and eventually The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which I’ve loved and stayed with ever since. That spiritual foundation, along with my mom’s example, helped form the person I am now.

My mom had a lot on her shoulders. She went through two divorces in the span of 18 years and was a single mom for some of that time. She showed signs of stress, understandably, as she tried to juggle raising children while managing her own emotional challenges. When my siblings misbehaved, punishment often involved yelling and, at times, spanking. That environment taught me two things: first, to avoid making the same mistakes my siblings did, and second, to behave out of fear. It wasn’t what you’d call a gentle household. Still, I give my mom credit—having more kids and trying to manage everything on her own must have been incredibly difficult. Through it all, she remained grateful for us, and she made sure we each did our part around the house. In that way, we became a team, even if things weren’t always peaceful.

It wasn’t until I spent time with my Uncle Gerrod and Aunt Kayla that I experienced a different kind of parenting. Their home felt calm and respectful. They never hit their children, but they still maintained rules and clear boundaries. My cousins, who are close in age to my younger siblings, are noticeably more respectful and responsible. I don’t think that’s just because they weren’t spanked. It’s also because they grew up with both of their parents and didn’t witness constant yelling and conflict. In contrast, our stepdad Jasper would often yell harshly at our mom, and that created panic, confusion, and sadness in us kids. From that, I learned that a family should be built on love, calmness, and mutual respect. One of my professors once said, “If you're mad at someone, sleep it off and talk about it in the morning—otherwise, you’ll say something you regret.” That advice really stuck with me, and I think it applies to parenting too.

Another challenge I’ve observed in our household is the role of technology. My mom runs a daycare and needs to be on her phone for work, but over time, that constant phone use has become normal for all of us. My siblings are glued to their screens, and I was too. We model what we see. When parents are on their devices all day, kids pick up the same habits. I’ve even gotten in trouble while babysitting because I was distracted by my phone and didn’t notice something had gone wrong. That experience taught me an important lesson: kids need guidance, not just freedom, and they need adults who are present and paying attention.

Social media and internet use also bring their own dangers. When not handled carefully, they expose children to cyberbullying, harmful comparisons, and even pornography. Violent video games can encourage aggressive behavior. Parents should be aware of these influences and set limits. Monitoring what kids consume online isn’t just helpful—it’s essential for their development.

On a different note, I want to share something unique about my youngest brother, Brennan. He’s only three, but he’s incredibly bright. He can count, speak clearly, and even read a little. A big part of that came from watching Cocomelon. I know there’s debate about whether Cocomelon harms child development, but in Brennan’s case, it seems to have helped. It goes to show that not every child responds the same way to the same content, which is why it’s so important for parents to observe and respond to their child’s individual needs.

Raising kids is hard—I’ve seen that firsthand. It’s also one of the most important jobs in the world. Children are shaped by what they see, what they feel, and how they’re treated. That’s why homes need to be safe, loving, structured, and calm. After experiencing many parenting styles, I’ve learned that children don’t need perfection. What they require most is patience, love, clear boundaries, and good examples.